It was one day after bathing suit shopping {why did I eat a hamburger first?} and wondering who's lumpy butt kept showing up in the mirror behind me.
It was 30 minutes before the girl at Noah's Bagel asked me TWICE if I was sure I wanted a "regular" bagel and not the "bagel thin" because it would be "less bready".
The day the skinny jeans said no was the same day my husband, who was aimlessly blabbering about getting a new car, referred to me in passing as a "sexy mom" and made me wonder who he had been looking at the last 22 weeks.
The day the skinny jeans gave up is the same day that I thanked God for giving my husband the blinders to see me differently than I see myself.
And the same day I told those bitchy britches "Suck it. I've got Bella Bands". So there.
