Beckett Jameson: A Birth Story

Friday - July 6, 2012

4am  I smell bacon.  {Why bacon?  Because Chris couldn't sleep and apparently, bacon was on his mind.}  I leap out of bed {as fast as a pregnant girl can leap} and rush to open all of the windows in the house.  Why open windows? For 1) I love bacon too and Chris had forgotten that his adorable, round wife was fasting for the impending c-section so the smell has me slightly feverish, and 2) because I spent the day before cleaning like the crazy person I am and I do not want to bring Beckett home to the smell of 4 day old stale bacon.

4:05am   I try to go back to sleep.  It doesn't work and Chris feels awful that he forgot I couldn't eat anything.  Best intentions, as always.  We lie in bed wondering what Beckett will look like.

4:35am  It's time to get up.  I still have a few things to pack in our hospital bag and we are due to check in at 5:30am.  I can still smell the bacon.

5am  We're all packed and my nerves start to surge with adrenaline.  I wander into the kitchen to find Chris frantically cleaning up his breakfast feast to make sure that we {I} get to come home to a clean, fresh home.  I fall a little more in love with him.

5:11am  We are in the car but stop by our neighbors to drop off some fresh eggs.  We have too many in the fridge as it is.  It reminds me of our wedding day when I stopped by the bank to deposit a check on the way to the chapel.  I am so thankful that we have come this far.

5:15am  We are officially on our way and Chris reminds me that this is his favorite time of the day.  When it feels like he's the only one awake.  I remind him that I wish it were him that was having a c-section.  He tells me that if that were the case, we probably wouldn't have any children.  Wuss.

5:35am  We officially check in at Hotel de Hospital.  It feels so familiar and yet new too.  We are in a different room, but only 3 down from the one that we had with Paley.  The nurse immediately notices that I am shivering and cranks up the heat.  Good nurse.

6am-ish  Several hospital staff start arriving.  There are papers to fill out, questions to answer, IV's to start, and a few more things that I conveniently decide to blur in my head.  In less than 2 hours I will be holding our son!

7:10am  Kristi {aka Bestie} arrives and jumps into action.  Have I ever mentioned that in the case of emergency, I hope to have her nearby??  She always seems to know just what to do.  She quietly sits at the edge of my bed and starts to massage my legs and feet.  I can feel my body relaxing.

7:15am  My mother-in-law arrives just in time to see us off.  Within minutes, it's time for Chris to suit up and he puts it on backwards.

7:17am  The nurse comes in to tell us it's time.  I ask her for 5 more minutes.  I have to prepare.

The next few minutes I spend just trying to mentally walk myself down the hallway.  I am scared and excited and everything feels very surreal.

7:25am  It's go time!  I grab Chris' hand and use my other to make sure I don't flash anyone as I waddle to the OR.

Chris is instructed to stay outside and I enter alone {which is one of the parts I have dreaded the most}.  I am shaking so badly that the nurses start piling on warm blankets.  They also lay the amazing hot air pillow across my chest and again I feel myself relaxing just a bit. I think I should get one of those for home.

7:28am  It's time for my spinal.  Oh Lord, the spinal.  My nurse is busy so she asks Dr. Drake to hold my hands.  They ask me to roll over onto my right side and I stare out of a large picture window and onto a gorgeous, sunny, tree lined street filled with old Portland homes and Dr. Drake does his best to calm me down.  I don't know what he is saying and I try to concentrate on the day beginning outside.  I feel the wetness from the cleaning pad, then fingers, then pressure, a slight sting, and... Then that part is over.

7:35am  Chris is finally allowed in and he comes immediately to me.  He holds my hands and tells me how excited he is.  He kisses my forehead and I remember how grateful I am that I can give birth to his children.

I feel like I can't breath and I tell the nurse.  The anesthesiologist comes to make sure that everything is fine.  He says this is normal and will pass.

My legs are feeling like they're falling asleep, which annoys me, and I want this part to be over.  Slowly they start to feel nothing but heavy and I can hear the nurses go into high gear.  It is time for the catheter, one says, and again the control freak in me protests.  I beg her to wait one more moment for the spinal to really take effect.  In all of this, the thought of feeling a catheter makes me almost pass out. I can feel the perimeter of my vision start to darken and I hold on until the anesthesiologist does a few pinch tests which I gloriously cannot feel.  I can also breath again.  Amen.  Breathing is essential when trying to calm oneself.

Suddenly, the catheter is in and the sheet in front of my face goes up.  I can hear noises and machines and talking between the nurses and Dr. Drake and another doctor who has come to assist.  I try to concentrate on Chris' voice next to my ear.  Whatever he says is perfect and although I feel much more tugging and pulling than with Paley, I don't feel a thing besides that.

7:47am  Suddenly I feel my stomach deflate.  Relief.  It's the closest sensation to the final push in a vaginal birth that I will ever feel and it is magical.

7:48am  I hear the time being called out and almost a simultaneous cry.  He is here.

He is whisked quickly away but we can still see him which is awesome.  His tummy is filled with amniotic fluid {22cc's to be exact!} and they are busy sucking it out.  Chris comments on his scrotum and we cannot stop laughing.

Dr. Drake is still working on me.  I hear him say that my uterus is boggy.  That doesn't sound good.  But I don't panic.  I am blissed out to the MAX.  The anesthesiologist jumps into action and it turns out Chris is leaning on my IV line and once it's fixed, my boggy uterus seems to be fine.

Chris cries a little.  I smile a lot.

It's time to be lifted back off of the operating table and into my bed.  It's easier than I remember and I still can't feel my legs.

And then they bring him to me.  I remember that with Paley, they took her from me as they wheeled me back to my room.  This time I ask to keep Beckett with me.  The nurse agrees and I hold on tight and smell his sweet, newborn skin.  I look at his fingers and his nose.  And after all of that wondering what he will look like, he looks just the way he should.

8:30am-ish  It's time for Paley to meet her brother.  I'm not sure what to expect when the door opens.  I can see Paley dash across the room yelling "Baby!".  She immediately begins to kiss him {on the lips, of course}.

The House of Thorn's is now a home of four and my heart swells with gratitude and peace.  I hope I remember this feeling forever.

Welcome to the world, Beckett Jameson.  You will be well loved.